Written by This past weekend, in Niles, Michigan, a youth flag football game took a turn for the bizarre and dangerous. A coach for one of the teams playing became incensed at a call made by officials during the game and decided he needed to come onto the field to argue the call. Normally you might expect to see this kind of behavior at a Major League Baseball game with a manager coming onto the diamond to argue a call with an umpire, but not so much in a youth sports league. While the coach coming onto the field to argue, what was obviously, in his opinion, a bad call against his team, is not the most bizarre part of the story. As the coach is arguing with the official, he is being escorted off the field. Upon getting to the sidelines, this is where the story gets truly bizarre and dangerous. The coach looks at a bystander, possibly a father watching his child play, cocks his right arm back, and punches the parent directly in the face, knocking the parent to the ground.
After this incident, other coaches, officials, and parents swarm the coach to break up the altercation before it progressed any further. The parent who was punched did come to the Niles Police Department to give a statement and may be pressing charges. According to the Niles Police Captain Kevin Kosten, “The victim, the person who got punched, came to the police department to report that he was assaulted and apparently the coach didn’t like how this spectator was looking at him. He referenced that maybe he was smiling at the coach and so this coach just happened to punch him, sucker punch him, which to me means punch him in the face. There’s definitely a possibility that he could be charged with assault and battery. Some of that will certainly be up to the victim but assault and battery would be an appropriate charge in this case.”
The Niles Police Department is currently looking into the incident to identify the coach in order to be able to press charges against him.
There are so many things wrong with this situation. First of all, let’s start with the coach charging onto the field to argue with officials over a call in a youth flag football game. The intent of youth sports, especially at the 10-12 age bracket is to develop fundamentals, enjoy the game, and have fun. Sure, there will be winners and losers, but this is the prime time to help these players develop good sportsmanship. To me, it seems like this would be a good place to post a sign that reads, “Your child’s success or lack of success in sports does not indicate what kind of parent you are. But having an athlete that is coachable, respectful, a great teammate, mentally tough, resilient, and tries their best IS a direct reflection of your parenting.” For the coach to think this was acceptable behavior that he would want his players, or even his own children, to emulate is wrong. It’s not showing respect to the other team, to the officials, and especially to his own team.
The second issue is the sucker punch delivered to the bystander. I can understand being upset that a call did not go your way if you are the coach of a sports team, but when is it okay to go after a bystander who has nothing to do with the outcome of your game? This, in itself, is a lack of mental toughness, resilience, and respect on the part of the coach. Again, these are not qualities I would want any player I was coaching, let alone my own children, to emulate. The other disturbing issue with the video that captures all of this is the young child heard in the background who is now scared, crying, and wanting to get out of the facility.
As a parent, how do you respond to this situation and what do you say to your child who was witness to the altercation and may have never experienced something like this before? Also as a parent, what do you do when you see coaches acting inappropriately and setting a poor example for their players and other players and children? As a coach, how do you respond to this behavior from a fellow coach? As a league, what is the correct response to this behavior?
While this is a very disheartening and unfortunate turn of events, it can certainly be used as a teachable moment. This is a great opportunity for coaches to sit their players down after the incident, or after the game, while the incident is still relatively fresh in their minds, and explain the differences between good sportsmanship and poor sportsmanship. It is an opportunity to show how situations should be properly handled and how they should certainly not be handled. As a coach, your players expect you to be the standard of what is right and wrong. The minute you betray that trust, you have lost your ability to coach your players. The youth flag football league in Niles now has to also face the decision of what to do with this coach, once he has been identified. It is equally important, especially nowadays, to remember that everything you say and do is more than likely being recorded by a spectator somewhere.
Personally, I feel that the best way to approach situations where you may not agree with an official’s call, is to ask yourself, “How would I want my parents or kids to see me respond to this on ESPN or national television?” If you are okay with them seeing your response to the situation on television, and feel like they would be proud of the way you handled it, then, by all means, go right ahead. However, if you have an inkling of doubt in how your response would be perceived, it may be a good idea to take a few deep breaths, and try another course of action. Be the example you would want others to emulate. Foster that kind of culture on your team, and in your life, and you will keep others on the right path.