Written by November 3rd had all the makings of a terrible day for me. The skies were gloomy as a cold front approached. I was hobbling around on a painful knee I had injured the week before. And, worst of all, I woke up to awful memories of the night before. The Braves had hammered my beloved Astros 7-0 to complete a six-game World Series victory.
Most of the country was happy to see the Astros go down in defeat. Forty-seven states were rooting for the Braves, with only Texas, Louisiana, and Deleware supporting the hated Astros. Why Delaware? Maybe they like villains there.
Oddly enough, however, I was OK. I was not upset with my favored team, who somehow decided to quit hitting like the Astros had done all season long and in earlier playoff rounds against the White Sox and the Red Sox. I didn’t curse the fate that took down our best pitcher and left our young staff exposed. Instead, I had a calm realization that we had gotten beaten by a better team. And, I felt appreciation for the enjoyment of watching the Astros all summer and into the fall. It was a great season.
Two years ago, before the MLB released its report that exposed the Astros sign-stealing scandal, I had endured a similar experience. The Astros, who had won 107 games in the 2019 regular season and defeated the Yankees to win the pennant on a memorable Jose Altuve home run, lost the World Series to the underdog Washington Nationals.
I was not OK the next day, dealing with several emotions. Mad at Howie Kendrick for hitting a home run off of the foul pole. Enraged at A.J. Hinch for pulling Zack Greinke and replacing him with Will Harris. Angry at the world because we had lost. Forget about the memories of watching Gerrit Cole and Justin Verlander pitch marvelously all season long and the emergence of Yordan Alvarez. We lost, and it sucked.
What has changed in those two years? Well, what hasn’t? Regardless of the global pandemic and the constant political unrest, I had gone through a personal transformation. After years of viewing my identity through the pursuit of success, I had changed course, and I began to focus on happiness.
“Success Addicts,” as described by Arthur C. Brooks in The Atlantic, choose winning over being happy. Their pursuit of achievement distracts from ordinary activities and relationships that make life meaningful. Brooks describes these success addicts, and their “never-ending quest for more and more success leaves them perpetually unsatisfied and incapable of happiness.”
Unfortunately, once you experience success, the thrill wears off quickly, and, feeling not successful enough, you immediately begin seeking a new goal. Additionally, you become jealous of people who have more success than you have. Psychologists call this the “hedonic treadmill.”
American culture actively encourages us to become “success addicts.” Overcoming obstacles through hard work and determination to raise our standing in society is the very definition of the American dream, our pursuit of happiness. We effectively equate success with joy, and the result is we work harder and harder each year.
Our obsession with results shows in our attitude to sports. Just compare our “football” to everyone else’s (soccer). Games cannot end in a draw, and they must have overtime. Seasons are not complete without a playoff to determine a champion. Nobody cares if you have “good form” if you lose.
In baseball, the Yankee fans immediately come to mind. They are never satisfied. Even though they have won twenty-seven championships and have all the resources in the world, they fail to accept that other teams without a roster filled with superstars may be better. This year they jeered Carlos Correa as a cheater, but they may very well adore him next year if he becomes a Yankee. Anything is OK if it gives you a better chance to achieve a successful result.
The solution is to jump off of the hedonic treadmill, give up the desire for success cold turkey. It isn’t easy. Recovering success addicts often suffer anxiety and depression. You see this all of the time in sports. Star athletes have to deal with the end of their careers at a younger age than the rest of us. Michael Jordan’s recent documentary showed his struggles as he transitioned from being the greatest player of all time to being retired. Many find other ways to compete and feed their desire to achieve more. They enter the business world or politics.
However, the retired athletes who seem happiest are the ones that spend their time connecting with their fans. I was lucky enough to go to one of the Astros playoff games, and we walked right by Alex Rodriguez, David Ortiz, and Frank Thomas on the Fox Sports set on our way to our seats. They engage with the fans, building relationships that ultimately provide more happiness to fans than one season’s success.
Shaquille O’Neal, Kenny Smith, and Charles Barkley on TNT provide the same level of engagement with basketball fans. Watching Barkley play goalie and try and stop shots from Wayne Gretzky as they promoted their hockey coverage was pure joy.
Eli and Peyton Manning have made Monday Night Football more enjoyable this season with their alternate broadcast. They and various guests engage in a conversation with viewers as they watch the game together in what appears to be a three-hour Zoom meeting.
I’m still not real thrilled that the Astros lost the World Series, and I have to admit I’m thinking way too much about changes they may or not make this offseason to make another run at it next year. I remain a “recovering success addict.” But I have learned that it is much easier to find happiness in the journey than in the destination.