Written by Bruce Arians already won points in my book when he added two females to his coaching staff. He recently won a few more when I read that he told his staff if they missed their child’s sporting event, he would fire them. His reasoning, he missed too many of his own kid’s events and admitted those years don’t come back.
In a world where it seems working too many hours is worn as a badge of honor, it is refreshing to hear of leaders “forcing” parents to take time off work. Sometimes we forget that there is more to our colleagues than just being our coworker; they have families, hobbies, struggles, and lives completely outside of our own interaction with them. Employees should not be forced to decide between keeping their job and seeing their children win games or races, or miss on the opportunity to teach them important lessons post-game. In 20 years, they are not going to remember most of the games they won or lost, but they will remember the drives home debriefing the game with their parents.
This should be common practice, not just from Super Bowl winning head coaches, but all jobs large and small. Picture this: a young kid getting to start as pitcher in his very first game, hopeful to show off to his parents all that he has accomplished. Something comes up at work and dad’s boss doesn’t let him leave early for the game. The disappointment this young kid feels when he doesn’t see his dad in the stands really messes with his head and contributes to many bad pitches, and is pulled quickly. He no longer has a good attitude and cannot be the best teammate for his team.
While we may not see the relation of parents supporting their kids on the field as contributing to positive culture in sports on the surface, it is one of the most important deeper-rooted facets of creating positive environments. When kids feel supported from their home base, they are in a better place mentally and emotionally to support their teammates!
Thanks for this post. As a parent and someone involved (as an administrator) in youth sports, your comment about the “ride home” debrief resonated. That’s often the most significant part of the experience for me and my athletic kids—and I still remember the excitement of my wife relaying a big (for our kids) comeback win; I was away and felt the sting of missing out (though my wife thought I would have lost my mind if I were there).
We live in a culture that demands (unreasonably, perhaps) accountability and results—falsely tied to the concept of “effort.” In my experience it’s about focused commitment, which Coach Arians realized is a by-product of a balanced life. Let’s hope we ALL learn that lesson (I’m still in elementary school on this…)