Written by As a leader and coach, I have always gone to bed always thinking about what I could do better for the athletes, team, or the people that I lead. I always try think of ways that I can help others on our team, help shed problems that a member of the team is dealing with, or maybe how I can lessen their load. It is a good practice of mine and it is frequently successful, except when…
My thoughts turn to worries and fears. What if I fail the team? What will happen if I do not come through for them? What if I do not address something and things start going in a negative direction? What if I create a poor or toxic culture or environment or that there is an organization that is not negative, but not positive either? What if I cannot keep my athletes safe? My thoughts and fears begin to consume me and I eventually lose track of my initial concerns…or sometimes it’s worse, I lump all of my initial concerns on top of my thoughts and fears.
It is easy to pull an athlete aside to help them calm down during practice or call a time during a game to help them center themselves. Even during competition, I have pulled players for extended periods of time to help them sort through their own anxiety or fears, have had the team play down a player for a little bit just to have an athlete get calm, or had athletes scratch from events, just to help them get centered. Many coaches will do this because they have a genuine interest in their athletes and team’s mental and emotional health.
But who is going to pull the coach or leader aside? Sometimes there is another coach, front office staff member, or maybe even an athlete who may pull a coach aside and ask if they are okay. At that time, many of the concerns and fears will no longer seem so bad.
Outside of someone pulling a coach full of fear and anxiety aside and seeing how they are doing, what else can a coach do? Fear, anxiety, and depression are all things that can contribute to a negative culture and climate. Bringing those things to practices, meetings, or competition is a recipe for disaster.
When times are mentally and emotionally tough for me as a coach, and I have so many things on my mind and worries about the team and athletes, I have tried many things over the years. While most of my concerns are outside of my control, there are three things that I can do to put things in perspective:
1. I wake up! It is a new day. I am alive. My family is alive. My family is safe. This should already be a reason to celebrate.
2. All of the athletes on my team are alive and safe. Again, another reason to celebrate!
3. I take a deep breath as those fears come back. I look around for something to look forward to for the day. Will it be the conversation that I have with one of the athletes who always has a good sense of humor or maybe I will be teaching a new technique today.
While I know for some of you reading this article will think that my ideas are over simplistic. But what I am trying to get to here is that every day is a new opportunity to try and reset and be better for those who are depending on you. If you are not at a high level yourself, how in the world are your athletes going to perform at a high level themselves? While these may not work for everyone, or anyone else for that matter, they do work for me. Each coach and leader needs to find their own way to reset every day so they can be the best versions of themselves every day.